“Grief is a force of energy that cannot be controlled or predicted, it does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to.’’
I never imagined 2021 would begin with one of my life’s toughest lessons. The aftermath of losing my best friend brought me unimaginable pain. Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Nothing could have prepared me for the day I lost Karen, this was not how our life journey was meant to sum itself up.
We made plans to do very amazing things with our lives, waking up every morning to do what we loved and wishing each other good life every other day. Countless times she built up my confidence, plugged me onto clients & work, dropped her plans to give me a hug after a hectic episode of cyberbullying, she loved to see me grow and this was the selfless human that was my soulmate.
I loved my best friend and she showed me her love, she checked on me at the most random moments, at any time of the day, we shared laughs, comforted each other in sad times and celebrated our best moments together. Now she’s gone.
“The people we most love do become a physical part of us, ingrained in our synapses, in the pathways where memories are created.”
Karen’s friendship was the most generous of human gestures and I experienced the best of it. Her loss means I have a scar that I will carry for the rest of my life. I’ve grieved her loss and beaten myself up for it. Does healing from her loss mean forgetting about her, does the hurt become less painful? Do the sleepless nights become bearable? Do I now look at our favourite destination with new eyes, knowing it shall never be the same going there alone without your friend, your true soul mate…
I carry her most intimate dreams and plans in my soul because she shared them with me, I venture on with her legacy and dreams for a better life because that was the promise we made to ourselves and to the stars, that we shall shine brighter!
